Dr. Kim, You, me and your followers experience joy, despite your trauma and pain. How is that possible? I call it interbeing or interconnectedness, and add it to Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages.
What is meant by interbeing and interconnectedness? I’m not really sure, but my heart is telling me that it has much to do with the freedom that comes from being fully present. Or what psychologist Gerald May refers to as freedom from our many “addictions and attachments,” great and small, in his work titled “Addiction and Grace.”
When one is able to cleanse the heart and mind of such afflictions and addictions, as you suggest when taking a long walk in a blue/green environment, we open the potential for a pathway to a powerful love whose fruitfulness and consolation can only be “seen and felt” within the spirited interplay of our very real and very pure relationships.
Interbeing therefore requires few, if any words. Sometimes a mere glance is enough. Nor does it require gifts, affirmation, or even touch, although such things may enhance one’s experience. It simply requires a sincere, heartfelt connection between two or more souls or individuals who have successfully shed their external fears and predilections, their egotistical selves, in favor of a true and real “interbeing” relationship.
Perhaps one obvious example would be the relationship between a young mother and her newborn infant. Or the feeling one gets when falling into a new love relationship, as you and your beloved (it could be a kitten or a puppy!) begin to unite into one love. And I have experienced many other less obvious examples of interbeing, often when least expecting to do so.
Interbeing may occur during any experience in which our God-given godly nature recognizes the same God-given nature in another sentient being, and in the process, two souls unite as one, if only for a moment, and disappear together into the secret of God’s face.
These thoughts came to me after reading your column today, and they give me comfort as we all travel this road to nowhere, together.
“two souls unite as one, if only for a moment, and disappear together into the secret of God’s face.” wow, yes. So beautifully said. I just experienced this with a dear old friend who I hadn’t seen or spoken with much in 3 years. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow, Dr. Kim--my sincere sympathy to you for enduring a lifetime of traumas. Your two most recents pile on with a litany of predecessors and I'm so sorry you've had to navigate all of them, "alone in the wilderness", so to speak.
Yet, in spite (and because) of that it seems, you've used your trauma endurance superpowers to so generously help others. You may not get a metal for what you've been through, but I think you have probably helped a vast number of people based on your own experiences and the knowledge you've gained--formal and informal. I've read it from many others on your YT video comments and join them in expressing sincere gratitude to you for crafting and sharing something positive from your supertraumas so that your viewers understand themselves better.
I appreciate your suggestions for managing supertrauma. I will keep each and every one of those techniques in mind to help keep me grounded and forward-moving as I navigate some of my own challenges.
I hope each of your kids are OK and heal relatively quickly--and that you do too. Remember to prioritize your Self in the process.
Thank you so much - I truly appreciate your kindness and affirmation - I love sharing on YT and other places and I know there are times that I am working through healing and understanding right along side you:).
Oddly (?), I just started listening to “In an Unspoken Voice” by Peter Levine. I see patterns (carry a wee bit, I suppose, of the autism spectrum traits) in it and your post. A gentle hug for you, Dr. Kim. 💖
Dr Kim, I’d love to hear your whole story. I also have a lifetime of out of the box traumas and have been told many time I should write a book. Those traumas keep coming, it might need to be several volumes, lol. I appreciate you so much, your kind and calming voice, your genuineness in sharing your own stories within the framework of your profession as a psychologist. At 59, I am learning how to take care of myself and how to identify what I’m feeling and avoiding in part thanks to your videos. Please keep your content coming and thank you for leading me to Substack, what an amazing place!
This is my first visit and I am grateful to have stumbled here. I too have been through countless traumas and have spent a lifetime healing. I am 48 and just about done with ending my second divorce and so much is triggering for me ( again) . I also have been told to write a book… and actually started but always seem to find a reason not to continue. I have been trying to find a community of women who share in alike traumas so as not to feel so isolated when going through life. I know that hearing about others’ pain truly helps with healing so I appreciate this community even though I just got here. If there are any healing techniques that are especially effective in those moments of paralysis I would love to hear about them. I have a technique for the inner child but often find myself in too much paralysis to use it. Thank you Paige and Dr Sage.🙏
It’s so nice to see a response to my comment. I haven’t been in Substack very long and you’re the first one. :)
So sorry about your divorce. Mine was miserable. My middle name is Marie too. I considered changing my id to Paige Marie. Anyway, you are not alone in your traumas and attempts at healing. Personally I’m just now learning I’m autistic and have never taken care of myself. I’m taking time out to figure out ways to do that, listening to my body and my heart. Trying out things just for me and no one else for the first time. I’m finding that I’m healing some.. and look forward to more.
Thank you so much - this made my night! Appreciate you and your time and truly makes it mean so much that you are loving yourself more just as you beautifully are:)
Dr. Kim, You, me and your followers experience joy, despite your trauma and pain. How is that possible? I call it interbeing or interconnectedness, and add it to Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages.
What is meant by interbeing and interconnectedness? I’m not really sure, but my heart is telling me that it has much to do with the freedom that comes from being fully present. Or what psychologist Gerald May refers to as freedom from our many “addictions and attachments,” great and small, in his work titled “Addiction and Grace.”
When one is able to cleanse the heart and mind of such afflictions and addictions, as you suggest when taking a long walk in a blue/green environment, we open the potential for a pathway to a powerful love whose fruitfulness and consolation can only be “seen and felt” within the spirited interplay of our very real and very pure relationships.
Interbeing therefore requires few, if any words. Sometimes a mere glance is enough. Nor does it require gifts, affirmation, or even touch, although such things may enhance one’s experience. It simply requires a sincere, heartfelt connection between two or more souls or individuals who have successfully shed their external fears and predilections, their egotistical selves, in favor of a true and real “interbeing” relationship.
Perhaps one obvious example would be the relationship between a young mother and her newborn infant. Or the feeling one gets when falling into a new love relationship, as you and your beloved (it could be a kitten or a puppy!) begin to unite into one love. And I have experienced many other less obvious examples of interbeing, often when least expecting to do so.
Interbeing may occur during any experience in which our God-given godly nature recognizes the same God-given nature in another sentient being, and in the process, two souls unite as one, if only for a moment, and disappear together into the secret of God’s face.
These thoughts came to me after reading your column today, and they give me comfort as we all travel this road to nowhere, together.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with me - I appreciate you and your thoughtful and thought provoking words:)
“two souls unite as one, if only for a moment, and disappear together into the secret of God’s face.” wow, yes. So beautifully said. I just experienced this with a dear old friend who I hadn’t seen or spoken with much in 3 years. Thank you for sharing this.
‘Oh yeah, I don’t get one because “that’s just life, no one gets off easy.” ‘
I felt this is my soul 🩷
Right? It's so much for so many of us- thank you so much for being here with me. :)
I love your writing, glad I found your page! So beautifully captured and spot on. <3
Thank you so much! I am so happy you're here and that you found me too!:)
Wow, Dr. Kim--my sincere sympathy to you for enduring a lifetime of traumas. Your two most recents pile on with a litany of predecessors and I'm so sorry you've had to navigate all of them, "alone in the wilderness", so to speak.
Yet, in spite (and because) of that it seems, you've used your trauma endurance superpowers to so generously help others. You may not get a metal for what you've been through, but I think you have probably helped a vast number of people based on your own experiences and the knowledge you've gained--formal and informal. I've read it from many others on your YT video comments and join them in expressing sincere gratitude to you for crafting and sharing something positive from your supertraumas so that your viewers understand themselves better.
I appreciate your suggestions for managing supertrauma. I will keep each and every one of those techniques in mind to help keep me grounded and forward-moving as I navigate some of my own challenges.
I hope each of your kids are OK and heal relatively quickly--and that you do too. Remember to prioritize your Self in the process.
Thank you so much - I truly appreciate your kindness and affirmation - I love sharing on YT and other places and I know there are times that I am working through healing and understanding right along side you:).
Oddly (?), I just started listening to “In an Unspoken Voice” by Peter Levine. I see patterns (carry a wee bit, I suppose, of the autism spectrum traits) in it and your post. A gentle hug for you, Dr. Kim. 💖
I love Peter Levine's work - thank you so much and gentle hugs back!:)
👁️🌚👁️
Dr Kim, I’d love to hear your whole story. I also have a lifetime of out of the box traumas and have been told many time I should write a book. Those traumas keep coming, it might need to be several volumes, lol. I appreciate you so much, your kind and calming voice, your genuineness in sharing your own stories within the framework of your profession as a psychologist. At 59, I am learning how to take care of myself and how to identify what I’m feeling and avoiding in part thanks to your videos. Please keep your content coming and thank you for leading me to Substack, what an amazing place!
This is my first visit and I am grateful to have stumbled here. I too have been through countless traumas and have spent a lifetime healing. I am 48 and just about done with ending my second divorce and so much is triggering for me ( again) . I also have been told to write a book… and actually started but always seem to find a reason not to continue. I have been trying to find a community of women who share in alike traumas so as not to feel so isolated when going through life. I know that hearing about others’ pain truly helps with healing so I appreciate this community even though I just got here. If there are any healing techniques that are especially effective in those moments of paralysis I would love to hear about them. I have a technique for the inner child but often find myself in too much paralysis to use it. Thank you Paige and Dr Sage.🙏
It’s so nice to see a response to my comment. I haven’t been in Substack very long and you’re the first one. :)
So sorry about your divorce. Mine was miserable. My middle name is Marie too. I considered changing my id to Paige Marie. Anyway, you are not alone in your traumas and attempts at healing. Personally I’m just now learning I’m autistic and have never taken care of myself. I’m taking time out to figure out ways to do that, listening to my body and my heart. Trying out things just for me and no one else for the first time. I’m finding that I’m healing some.. and look forward to more.
Thank you so much - this made my night! Appreciate you and your time and truly makes it mean so much that you are loving yourself more just as you beautifully are:)
Ditto!